It has been a struggle for me to accept the reality that my parents broke up. I became so ashamed of it that I ended up lying. One lie after another, it was like knots gradually forming on a rope, slowly tightening its grip until it can no longer be loosened.
I placed my security on my circumstance, on what other people might think of me, rather than what God has to say. I kept running and running away, but God has a way of catching up.
I questioned God why did He allow my parents to break up, even blamed Him for what happened. I’d say that if they did not break up, I would not lie. But it was a deliberate decision to do so. I allowed my circumstances to control me.
Oftentimes, we blame the circumstances in our lives. We say that if we didn’t do this or that we won’t face the consequences of our actions. But actually, the problem doesn’t lie on our circumstances. The root cause lies on us. The Bible tells that our hearts are deceitful above all things and beyond cure.What happens in our lives are just results of what’s already in our hearts. The circumstances just bring those things into surface.
That’s why, God does not want to change our circumstances. He wants use our circumstances to change us. He’s after our hearts.
Now that I am in Christ, I am grateful of everything that’s happened in my life. If God will use my circumstances to glorify Him, so be it. I will no longer base my joy on my circumstances but rather on God—on Him alone. 🙂